- Get Naked -- I find that I look significantly better naked than I do clothed. There aren't any tight waistlines making my muffin top bulge over, resulting in extra ass-space that looks like I'm hiding an adult diaper and a small family of refugees in there. I am certain that my neighbors also appreciate my get naked/open all the windows policy.
- Get Fancy-- Every once in a while earmark an evening out dedicated to one sole and selfish purpose: lookin' hot. Spend a ridiculous amount of time on your hair and makeup, pick out an outfit that makes you feel sassy, and gather up your Lady Boners for a night on the town. Is this completely shallow and vain? Yup. Should you find the beauty within your heart or some other inspiring bullshit like that? Sure, couldn't hurt. But in the short run, this plan works just fine. Note: I have found that creating an inspiring music montage brings this experience to another level. Mine is titled "Happy Fun Girl Time" and is full of Beyoncé songs. Because no one sings with more "I am a treasure to behold and OH NO YOU DIDN'T just look at another woman because if you did I well set yo' ass out on the street" than she. I'm pretty sure that's the title of her next album.
- Get Out of Your Head-- I was recently guilty of letting someone else's obviously impaired judgement lead me to believe I was not lookin' my best on a Get Fancy night. There's no denying it hurts a little when there is perhaps someone in particular you are trying to impress and they are perhaps a little too drunk and socially awkward to ever let you know that making out with you would be a true pleasure. But I guarantee you there are plenty of other people out there thinking "Oh wow, it WOULD be a true pleasure to make out with that fine looking piece of Lady ass!" Oh yeh, and your real beauty is in your heart or something.
Some of you may have seen this on Facebook already, but it's worth a re-share. It's a story about being a mermaid vs. being a whale. Let me also remind you that whales are the largest mammals on earth, which means they have the largest reproductive organs known to man. Now that's one big Lady Boner!